If you have a professional, skilled counsellor or therapist who you connect and feel comfortable with – yes!
It could be helpful to think about what therapy ‘working’ means to you. It’s also true that people do have experiences of counselling or therapy that are unhelpful, and there are a number of possible reasons why.
Therapy can be a challenging process and it’s important that you feel safe, comfortable and confident with the counsellor you are working with.
Some of the more common reasons that therapy hasn’t been helpful for people can include;
- Discomfort, lack of trust or safety with therapist
- Not feeling seen, heard or understood by the therapist
- Being required to attend therapy for legal proceedings or at a family members request, rather than making the choice yourself
- Feeling too challenged by therapy, or not feeling challenged enough
- The therapeutic approach or style of the therapist not matching your needs
- A lack of clarity about what therapy can do, what you can expect, or what you want from therapy
- Receiving strategies that help temporarily to manage the situation or your emotional states, but don’t help long-term or don’t address underlying issues
- Being given advice rather than being listened to
These are a few things you may relate to or wish to keep in mind when considering therapy. What works for some people may not work for others. Sometimes it may not seem helpful at the time but then you notice some positive impact later on. What may be a good fit at one time may not be at another.
Healing is not always linear, so sometimes it can seem things get harder or feel more difficult before they get easier.
We might also find we have parts of us that want to do certain things like address emotional issues, gain strength, improve our relationships, or complete studies and then we might realise once we start doing these things that parts of us prefer things as they are. Maybe there are parts of us that are content with the status quo are actually louder than the parts that want to change! And that’s ok, there is always a good reason for the things we do, even those things that may seem counterproductive. Part of therapy is discovering more about this so we can live from a place of greater awareness and freedom to choose.
The best way to start is to consider what you would like to achieve from counselling and to find a counsellor you are drawn to. If finances are a barrier, Rough Patch offers affordable therapy with a diverse range of warm, approachable counsellors so check out their profiles and give the experience a try for yourself.
By Lisa Barrett
